there’s only 3weeks-ish of school left. and when i say “school left” i mean… for a while. actually not even sure if i’ll be coming back to school. it’s honestly never been my forte… i remember sitting in physics in highschool when my teacher asked the class, ‘who wants to go to college?’ just about everyone raised their hands confidently, reflecting on all of their hard work on their college apps and essays, visiting college campuses… i was one of those few people who didn’t raise their hands. i had this thought in my mind that perhaps college wasn’t and isn’t for everyone (i still believe this), including me. there are some people who just go straight into working after high school and that’s fine. there are so many routes to take in life some things are just different for other folks. my brother and sister had assured me that my post [highschool] graduation thoughts were normal too. so in light of all these thoughts, i followed the routine of applying to schools, mostly because our english ap classes were all centered on college apps so might as well have turned in these essays to somewhere. i applied to TCU, UH, and UT. just 3 schools, didn’t really know what i wanted to do either. not so much a math person, or science person… pretty good at talking and managing so business it was! i told myself that i didn’t want to go to UT unless i got into the business school. otherwise i would have went to UH for hotel management or something like that. then summer time came and i got a letter from McCombs saying that i was waitlisted for mccombs. i didn’t really know what that meant… but i got another letter the following week saying i was accepted! that was good news… pretty unexpected too. so apparently mccombs only accepts top 2-3% and i was like… not there. i also knew that my parents probably couldn’t have afforded tuition so scholarship apps were definitely complimenting all of my college apps too. another week later i received a letter from the terry foundation and houston livestock show and rodeo offering full scholarships to the texas college of my choice. sooo by this point, i’m thinking: this is awesome! and strange! okay, maybe i’m supposed to go to college. someone sees some potential in me. and God is definitely providing a way. so let’s take this opportunity. 

there are some other events in my life that have played out like this too. where opportunities and blessings have just fallen into my lap. like the hallib internship and the following offer letter for full time. like going to study abroad in Italy or like being a CORE team member for AACM, and even going on missions this summer to East Asia. like finding an awesome community of girls and guys to faithfully encourage me. and even like taking an internship at The For the City Center. and granted, some of the opportunities i’ve invested in aren’t always good. surelyyyyy God has been teaching me what it looks like to faithfully discern what His will is for me. but on the other hand, there just have been too many events in my life where i can see in retrospect, that God was so present, so much leading me to where He wants me to be. 

with all this being said, and in this particular time of year.. it’s hard to say flat out that i’m unworthy or inadequate. and by no means do i feel like i, alone, am fully competent to do anything! it is the good news, the beautiful gospel, that because God delights in His creation, He has sent His one and only son to die and sacrifice himself on the cross for our shortcomings and sin. because of the blood Jesus shed for us, we can be seen as righteous and worthy. and in 3 days, Jesus rose from the dead, conquered death, conquered sin and all the ugliness in this world. my Jesus is that powerful! He’s powerful enough to make all of the unthinkables happen, including the unthinkables in my life! God has been doing so much of a work in me because He knows His plans for me, He sees my potential and He trusts and delights in His creation. i am humbled by all these opportunities and gracious that He’s chosen me to partake in these blessings. i know that alone, i could’ve never done any of these things, but it is only by His mercies and by this amazing gift of love and care for me that He enables me to do these things.  

ptl